It can be difficult to consider dating again after the stress of a divorce. Everyone schedules time for when they would want to go out. “What one accomplishes during that time is more significant than the duration of time,” says Christina Jones, LCSW.
Therefore It’s crucial to be self-reflective and mourn the loss while also learning what one can ‘do’ better in their future relationship.
Yet, once you’re ready to get out there, these pointers will help.
Understand that chemistry does not always imply a long-term relationship.
“Lust is nature’s way of luring us into attachment,” says Bela Gandhi, CEO of Chicago-based matchmaking firm Smart Dating Academy.
It’s natural to crave the excitement of a spark-filled romance when returning to dating after a long-term committed engagement (especially one that ended horribly). But on the other hand, Gandhi believes that a “slow burn” should not be dismissed.
“Especially when we’re dating after divorce,” she says, “singles believe that instant, scorching spark is the main thing to search for.” “This is not correct. Chemistry, particularly for women, can develop over time—and it may take several dates to begin to develop!”
Keep an eye out for someone who appears to be too flawless.
You will never be more in need of affirmation and affection than following the end of a committed relationship. While this is completely natural, it can set you up for victimization, according to Dr. Walfish. One of the telltale signs that a date isn’t sincere? They’re faultless.
It may seem counter-intuitive, but if they tick every single box on your list, shower you with presents, text or call you all the time, press for quick commitment, make fantastic promises, or want to be the only person in your life, you may be dealing with someone who wants to control you.
That sounds a little dramatic, and there’s a chance you’ve landed royalty. However, Walfish points out that the unpleasant reality is that many people seek to use women, and being in your 40s or 50s does not make you immune.
Is there a way to be safe? First, get regular reality checks from close friends and loved ones who can provide an objective assessment of your condition.
Take it slowly at the start.
You don’t have to leap headfirst into intensive one-on-ones. “Talk on the phone a lot and go on various dates,” Jones adds. “That is varied activities, opportunities to communicate and get to know each other, and opportunities to see people in diverse circumstances are what I mean. Of course, some dates should also include each other’s pals.”
Everyone desires the affection of a partner, including you, from a devastating divorce. So if you feel ready to get out there, jump onto a dating site and find your match made in heaven.
Payment industry guru Taylor Cole is a passionate payments expert who understands the complex world of adult merchant account. He also writes non-fiction on subjects ranging from personal finance to stocks to crypto pay. He enjoys eating pies with ice cream on his backyard porch, as should all right-thinking people.